Staying Safe - what help is available
We value your safety and can support you in the safest way for you. Abusers can become more violent and controlling when they know you are accessing support or planning to leave, which is why support from DASSL is important.
Planning to leave
You may decide you need to leave your home as it becomes increasingly hard to keep yourself safe. We are here for you whenever you decide that you are ready to take that step. We value your safety and can support you to leave in the safest way. Abusers can become more violent and controlling when they know you are planning to leave which is why advanced safety planning is so important.
Once you have left the relationship, it’s important to be aware of any potential risks points, such as school collection times, travelling to and home from work, shopping and attending appointments, visiting friends etc. Remember, ending the relationship will not necessarily end the abuse. We can support you in a number of ways and help you to move forward to a safer life.
Thinking about leaving and actually leaving can take some time. It can feel like a huge step, and we are here to support you. We acknowledge that it is difficult and often does not seem like it can happen easily.
There are some things you can consider in your plan to make it safer when you leave.
Things you can do
Safety planning
A personalised safety plan is a way to help protect you and your children. You can create a safety plan whilst you are still in an unhealthy relationship, when you are preparing to leave and after you have left. We can help you with safety planning at any point.
A safety plan is unique to you and its aim is reduce the potential risks in your relationship. It sets out how to respond to different situations and crisis. It can also help any services supporting you to be more aware of what is happening and how to respond. Safety plans help to deter or de-escalate threatening situations and provide you with a greater sense of control
You cannot stop a perpetrator’s violence, abuse & control, only they can decide to change. With support, you can do things that can make yourself and your children safer by minimising risk of harm.
You will already be doing things to support your safety. Formalising a plan can help consider all areas of your life, no matter how obvious some things seem. Choosing the right time to leave is not easy, it may take some time before you feel you are able to or the time is right. You may need support to leave following an abusive incident. Whenever you feel ready, we are here to help you choose your next steps.
There are some things you can do to help once you leave:
Safety and technology - passwords and on-line security
When you leave, change all passwords such as your bank, email and apps, to something that you have not used previously or is easy to guess. Your bank can also help you make your accounts secure; you can speak to them confidentiality about your situation for support. You can also add two-factor authentication to online banking, email and social media accounts to add an additional layer of security. Two-factor authentication requires an additional login credential to access your account.
You can contact Cyberhelpline for free, expert help about cybercrime, digital fraud and online harm
Continued abuse after you have left
If harassment, threats or abuse continue after you have left, try to keep detailed records of each incident, including the date and time it occurred, what was said or done.
Photographs are useful evidence of injuries to yourself or others or damage to your property. Document any support you have received from health services, the police or specialist domestic abuse services. Consider accessing a solicitor to discuss civil injunctions for your safety. An injunction, with power of arrest can be a useful tool in your safety plan. Keep your injunction with you and inform the police of any breaches so that they can enforce the order.
Stalking is frequently experienced in domestic abuse situations, often once the relationship has ended. Stalkers often use multiple means of contact. If you can spot the red flags associated with stalking, you can safety plan and protect yourself.
Stalking behaviours can be:
- Sending unwanted messages, presents or letters
- Making unwanted calls, texts, messages
- Loitering outside home, work, family
- Watching/Spying
- Following and surveillance
- Threats, offensive or sexual language in their communication
- Trying to involve third parties to discredit victim
- Damaging property
- Sexual harassment and physical assault
- Cyber / Digital stalking
If you think you are being stalked, please know you are right to be concerned. Stalking may escalate in behaviour. Letting someone know what is happening is essential to helping you to keep safe. Report incidents as early as possible to the police and tell others what is happening. You can contact DASSL and specialist stalking organisations for support and information:
Specialist Organisations
Safely making contact
If it is not safe to call, you can email contact@dassl.org.uk (if you would like us to call you back, then please provide us with your telephone number and a safe time we can call you).
Please be aware, our emails are only monitored 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday. You will not receive an immediate response, but we will get back to you as soon as we can.
Our online chat service is available on our website daily, at 10am to 12pm, 2pm to 4pm and 8pm to 10pm. You can chat to one of experienced team about what support is available and they can help with a referral for support.
Call 0300 3033 581 for free
For immediate support, call us now. We're available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
contact@dassl.org.uk
Please note that this email is operated 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday and outside these times you may not receive an immediate response.
Live Chat
You can access our live chat service every day during three dedicated timeslots: 10am – 12pm, 2pm – 4pm and 8pm – 10pm, access from our home page
Languages
If you need help in another language, we have a multi-lingual staff team with many languages or we can arrange for an interrupter. You can also access the Women’s Aid Survivors Handbook , which is available in various languages.
Clare's Law - Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme
You have the right to know if your partner has an abusive past. Clare’s Law gives any member of the public the ‘right to ask’ the police if their partner may pose a risk to them. Under Clare’s Law, a member of the public can also make enquiries into the partner of a close friend or family member.
You deserve a life free from abuse, violence and exploitation.
Call 0300 3033 581 for free
For immediate support, call us now. We're available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
contact@dassl.org.uk
Please note that this email is operated 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday and outside these times you may not receive an immediate response.
Live Chat
You can access our live chat service every day during three dedicated timeslots: 10am – 12pm, 2pm – 4pm and 8pm – 10pm, access from our home page
Languages
If you need help in another language, we have a multi-lingual staff team with many languages or we can arrange for an interrupter. You can also access the Women’s Aid Survivors Handbook , which is available in various languages.